My Journey with Cannabis - Sarah


I started smoking marijuana when I was a pre-teen as a way to escape the uneasy and overpowering emotions that I was feeling at the time.  Through it’s use I was able to connect to others and myself in a way that felt open, honest and pure. I now know that the feelings I was escaping were those of loneliness and abandonment and the reason I felt connection through the use of cannabis was because this is what was up for me: discovering authentic connection to myself and others.  I would never advocate for a young person to use cannabis - this is just how my path unfolded and I have chosen to view it from a place of abundance and positivity.  A lot of the work I have done on myself as an adult is because of the lack of support I had as a child and my choice to use marijuana to cope.  As an adult I have had to learn how to feel emotion and understand that emotions are normal.  I had to process my emotional childhood as well as develop my emotional adulthood.  I am grateful I have been successful at this, but not all are.  As parents we need to be present and aware of our own emotions as well as guide our children through their emotions, thoughts and actions.

It was in my early 20’s when I was able to experience the tangible medicinal effects cannabis had on me.  My desire to behold and advocate for this plant deepened.  Cannabis has given me the ability to relate to my body, mind, spirit and emotions in a way that resulted in a deep understanding of Self; a commitment that has become the pinnacle of my Life’s Work.  Where traditional western medicine would prescribe pharmaceutical pain relievers for severe menstrual pain, cannabis relieved the pain while showing me how to soften and meet it. From this place my body was able to teach me about physical form and the energy that cumulates to create it. Where traditional western medicine would prescribe pharmaceutical mood stabilizers, cannabis balanced my emotions compassionately and taught me how to track where my thoughts ended and my emotions began.  Through the work I do as a Shamanic Practitioner, I have discovered a deep relationship that exists with the Spirit of Cannabis.  She desires this relationship with those of us who honor her through our respectful use and desire to grow ourselves in her guidance.  She is here to Serve.

Undoubtedly, Cannabis is a powerful entity that will help you to work through what is currently up for you - conscious or unconscious. When you meet her in a sacred space of conscious intention she steps up.  If you come into her home without direction you may become lost in her fortress and this may or may not serve you - you can only make conscious that which you are prepared to meet.  This is where the negative aspects of Cannabis are highlighted: Paranoia, anxiety, lethargy, apathy, depression, exhaustion and confusion are some of the negative traits that people experience.  I believe these emotions are not caused by the plant, but enhanced so that the user becomes aware of what is unconscious. You must be open to receiving guidance and building awareness as well as consciously committed to do the work that will show up when you use Cannabis.  

Today, as a Woman in my 40’s, a Mother of 3, a Business Owner, Land Steward, Partner and Community Member I experience Cannabis much differently than I did 30 years ago.  As I have grown and evolved, my connection and understanding of this plant has too.  As I have discovered parts deeper in me She has shown me depths in her I never could’ve known in previous versions of myself.  Cannabis needs me to keep showing up as the next best version of myself, to continue to evolve and shed that which no longer serves so that She can continue to evolve and grow within our collective consciousness and shed that which no longer serves her.  As our collective consciousness grows and evolves, as we take greater responsibility for our realities and uncover the truth of our connection to each other: our deepest need of interconnectedness - the pain, shame, blame and hatred will shift, break apart and become manageable to meet. This is the process with all relationships.  Our relationship with Cannabis is no different.